I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
zippers are such a cool invention
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
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