omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
