yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
