just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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