i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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