About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
