There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My vagina is very pro this idea
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
