I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize