when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So many bounce houses so little time
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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