I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
