But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
