This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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