wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
