All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
