I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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