This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
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