Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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