do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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