At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
