What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
