IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
