An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
