Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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