We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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