16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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