my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize