Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
