GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
