you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize