fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize