cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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