i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
