Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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