she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
