Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
