So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
