nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
