If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
