dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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