I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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