DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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