just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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