Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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