Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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