you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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