I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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