i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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