i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
