Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
