I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and she was petting her beer can
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
