According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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