Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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