What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
