Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
