And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
