Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
