do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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