if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
