was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
