Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
