His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
