i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
