It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
