it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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