I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
