Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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