i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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