How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
