But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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