My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
