there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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