bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
