That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
