In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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