Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
