I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
